


and many more

by rennywrites



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-12 01:07:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18000899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rennywrites/pseuds/rennywrites
Summary: Kravitz doesn't have a birthday anymore.  Taako takes it upon himself to rectify the situation.





	and many more

Kravitz does not have a birthday.

Obviously he  _had_  a birthday at some point, years and years ago, but he certainly doesn’t remember it anymore.  That’s just kind of what happens when you’re a. dead and b. the grim reaper for an extended period of time. The situation doesn’t lend itself particularly well to maintaining a steady social life, much less yearly celebrations with friends.  The Raven Queen is very nice, but she doesn’t really know what birthdays are. Kravitz isn’t completely sure if she was ever actually born. The metaphysics of Faerun is a somewhat headache-inducing situation.

He mentions all of this to Taako during a lull in the conversation one night, while the elf is draped idly across both his lap and the sofa in front of the television.  Taako is not an easy person to dumbfound — being a universe-hopping, planet-saving, wildly successful chef and wizard can do that to you — but this information absolutely  _blows him away._   Kravitz would gloat about it, but he’s too busy dealing with an immediate, rapid-fire line of questioning from his boyfriend: how old is he, exactly? (He’s not sure.)  Does he know what month his birthday was in?  (He doesn’t.)  Does he even remember the last time he had a birthday party? (He does  _not_. He can’t even remember what he had for breakfast this morning. This is a lost cause.)  Taako speaks with his hands like he always does when he gets excited about things, punctuating each question with exclamations like “How did this happen, Krav?  How?!” and a few emphatic statements of “What the fuck!” as prestidigitated sparks shoot wildly from his fingertips.

Once Kravitz has reassured his boyfriend that yes, he  _did_  have an actual birthday at one point and  _ **no**_ , he didn’t spring fully-fledged from the brain of the Raven Queen when he was born (“Sweetie, what the hell?”), Taako reclines back down into his lap and hums thoughtfully to himself.  He runs a finger absently through Kravitz’s hair out of habit.  It sends a few wayward sparks fizzing gently about the reaper’s ears.

Then Taako excuses himself rather abruptly by launching his entire body up and over the back of the sofa with a wholly unnecessary levitation spell, startling both Kravitz and their cats in the process.  After a solemn apology to James Buffett Jr. and Stinky Fur Man, Taako waves his stone of farspeech wildly around his head and declares that he needs to take a call (“Do you mean  _make_ a call, darling?”  “I never make calls, I only take them.”).  He then departs the room with a flourish, after tilting Kravitz’s head back for a lingering kiss that leaves the reaper feeling more than a little light-headed.

Taako is gone for several minutes.  Kravitz becomes preoccupied with staring very hard at the wallpaper and trying to remember how old he actually is. He is unsuccessful. He develops a very bad headache in the process.

When Taako finally returns, he throws himself dramatically back onto the couch (and into Kravitz’s lap), and declares, “Alright babe, you’re gonna share mine.”

And Kravitz says “What?” because it’s been ten minutes, he has a headache, and Taako is pretty to the point of being very distracting.

The elf tucks the stone of farspeech back beneath the collar of his shirt and snaps his fingers (which forces Kravitz to tear his gaze away from the mesmerizing strip of skin at the curve of his boyfriend’s collarbone).  “You’re gonna share my birthday.  I went and talked to Lulu about it, and she says it’s fine.  She’s excited about it, actually,  even though I don’t think she’ll ever let me live this one down.”  He sighs dramatically.  “Ch’boy always used to complain about having to share a birthday back when we were kids, and now here I am asking her for a plus one.  The things I do for love.”  Taako pauses and then squints up at his boyfriend.  “Krav.  You doin’ alright up there?  You’ve been kinda quiet.”

Kravitz is experiencing a very large number of emotions in a very small period of time.

He recognizes excitement almost immediately — if there’s one thing that he remembers about birthdays, it’s that they’re a lot of fun.  And now he gets to experience his with the people he loves most in the world.  The thought of spending a day surrounded by Taako’s endearing grandstanding and Lup’s infectious laughter sends warmth whispering through his silent veins.

There’s also a little bit of fear, because he was  _at_  the twin’s last birthday and so he knows  _exactly_  what can happen at their parties.  And if he and Lucretia have to explain to the authorities why the entire city of New Phandalin levitated into the air for exactly twenty-six minutes again, then he is absolutely going to come back to life just so he can die again.  

But for some reason, he also feels sad.  

He hasn’t thought about things like this, like birthdays and balloons and parties, for  _years_.  It’s just been him and his job, alone except for the distant lights floating in the never-ending expanse of the astral plane, for as long as he can remember.  The Raven Queen used to gently encourage him to try going out and meeting new people, but all of her well-meaning attempts had steadily diminished over the years as he’d continued to rebuff her suggestions.

Kravitz’s greatest fear has always been this: if he lets himself get tangled back up in the world of the living, the weight of all the things that he failed to do before joining the Raven Queen’s retinue will eventually crush him.  

For far too many years to count, he’d refused to let himself believe that there might be any option besides cutting himself off from the material plane entirely.  But now this beautiful, lovable elf, who is too loud and too brash and too proud sometimes (and who he loves more than life itself), has taken him by the hands and pulled him headfirst into something he hadn’t even let himself realize he’d missed.

He can feel a strange wetness gathering behind his eyes; a sensation that feels comfortingly familiar, yet still somewhat alien after all the years that time has spent moving steadily on without him.

Taako sits up and puts his arms around Kravitz and just holds him silently for a while.  He gets it.  Both of them do.  Loneliness leaves scars that re-open at the strangest times.

They stay like that until Kravitz finally lifts his face from where it’s buried in Taako’s shoulder, and James Buffet Jr. takes the opportunity to hop up onto his lap and curl into his arms to make sure he’s okay.  Then they sit together on the sofa as the television drones gently on in the background and talk about plans for their next birthday: about how great it’s going to be, about how Merle is not allowed near the flower arrangements, about how Barry is absolutely  _not_ allowed to raise  _any_  members of the fantasy Beatles from the dead to perform.  Eventually, the few wayward tears give way to laughter instead.

Their next birthday is legendary.

The moon is directly overhead and also on fire for the better part of thirty-five minutes. An entire building in Rockport gets transmuted into a fourteen-layer birthday cake. The Raven Queen shows up — making several individuals in attendance nearly pass out in fear — in order to wish everyone a happy birthday, and also to figure out what exactly a birthday actually is. She walks around arm in arm with Istus, who brings everyone hand-knitted sweaters as presents.  All of the clergymen in the nearby vicinity collectively shit themselves in amazement.

After the festivities are all over and everyone has returned to their respective homes, Kravitz and Taako find themselves back on their sofa, with the radio in the background reporting softly on the ridiculously ostentatious display of fireworks that had lit up the skies over Neverwinter that evening.

“How was your very first birthday à la Taako, cupcake?”  Taako asks Kravitz as the latter flops down onto his lap.  “Actually quick side note, we definitely have to figure out how old your ass actually is at some point.  Not that it’d make much of a difference, since you’ve got the whole spooky scary skeleton thing going on at work most of the time, but I want to see the look on people’s faces when I tell them that my boyfriend is over six hundred years old.”

“That’s an adventure for another time, I think.”  A smile creeps across Kravitz’s lips.  “Lucretia  _just_  finished putting out the moon. I don’t think Faerun can take any more excitement in one night.”

“Boring, but fair.” Taako sighs in mock disappointment.  “That leaves yours truly with the responsibility of ‘final surprise of the night’, then.”  He snaps his fingers and a perfectly wrapped package materializes in the palm of his hand, accompanied by a glittery puff of magical confetti.  “Ta-da!  Faerun’s favorite wizard does it again.”

Kravitz clears his throat.  “Not to one-up Faerun’s favorite wizard, but…” he trails off as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small, clumsily wrapped package.

Taako puts a hand over his heart and pretends to fan himself in shock.  “Betrayal!  Upstaged by the love of my life!  I’ll let it slide it this time, Krav, but  _next_ time…”  He continues his mock tirade as he lifts the gift out of Kravitz’s hands and leans forward to press a kiss to the side of his jaw.  “Next time I’m talking  _dozens_ of major images, plus a Taako original dance number!  Me, popping out of a chocolate fountain, dressed in lingerie that is  _not_  from Fantasy Costco! Just you wait.”  

Kravitz raises an eyebrow and manages to keep a straight face.  “Consider me warned,” he says, as Taako begins unwrapping the package.  Kravitz’s fingers move toward his own gift, but he pauses and watches with bated breath as his boyfriend tears off the final layer of wrapping paper.

Taako lifts the lid off of a tiny brown box and peers inside.  Even Faerun’s favorite wizard can’t manage to keep the shock off of his face.

“It’s not a… this isn’t a proposal,” Kravitz says quickly.  “We don’t have to… you know,  _do_  anything in the near future, if you don’t want to, it’s just sort of… it’s a promise?  Since we talked about it, and I—”

Taako uses one hand to take the ring out of the box and the other to press a finger to Kravitz’s lips.  “Yes.  Yes, of  _course_ , you gigantic nerd.  I love it.  I love you.”

Kravitz scoops Taako up into a wordless hug, spinning him around while simultaneously trying to land kisses wherever he can reach, smiling as the elf lets out a peal of laughter.

“So the way I see it, we’ve got two options.”  Taako wraps his arms around Kravitz’s neck as the reaper sets him back down onto the ground.  “Option one: we get hitched next Tuesday.  We invite everyone.  We party, ride off into the sunset, and then bang.  Easy peasy.”  A mischievous smile spreads across the elf’s face.  “Or, option two: we play the long game.”

Kravitz’s grin matches Taako’s.  “An extended engagement, then?”  

“Lup and Barold refused to admit that they even  _liked_ each other for  _years_.  It was torture.”  Taako rolls his eyes.  “But we’ve got all the time in the world, hot stuff!  So let’s drag this out.  Be as lovey-dovey as possible.  Really make ‘em wait for it.”

Kravitz laughs.  “But… not for too long,” he says, reaching up to rest his palm against his boyfriend’s cheek.

“Not for too long,” Taako agrees.

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a headcanon post but evolved into a short piece over time, so it might seem a little strange tonally. Hope y'all like it!


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